The change of interpersonal relationship in contemporary China is often explained with the paradigm of modernization，and it is believed that since the reform and opening up，its mode has changed from the emotional to the instrumental. In fact，the so-called purely emotional relationship has never existed in our traditional culture；we only have an undifferentiated mixed-type relationship integrating emotion，reason，obligations and other ingredients. Therefore，the change of interpersonal relationship since social transformation is not a single evolutionary process from emotion to reason，but a differentiated dual process manifesting both emotion and reason.